So here’s a review of my first first OKCupid date.
It happened kind of last minute. We had been messaging back and forth or about a week. He lives in the city but he was home at his parents house in the suburbs for the week, near me. Helping his parents paint their porch. (Awwwww!) He seemed super sweet from his profile. He’s from Norway and in a band. He was cute.
What made me think he might be a good first first okcupid date was what he wrote under “What I’m Typically Doing on a Friday Night.” He had something like “Probably not much. I’ve been kind of lonely lately.” (Awwww!)
Deciding what to do on a first date is kind of weird on okcupid. I know that I don’t want to go on first dates with people like meeting at a restaurant or something. I would rather do something kind of active or more casual. Something that will divide the attention up a little bit, so we don’t feel like we have to sit across from a stranger for a couple hours having to entertain each other all by ourselves. A walk in the woods, a mission of some kind, anything that let’s me and the other person have a third party of some kind to carry some of the focus.
We decided on a bar.
He doesn’t have a car so I picked him up. I love a guy who doesn’t feel like less of a man for having a girl pick him up.
He was kind of quiet, but I’ve always found that endearing. He actually grew up in the town next to mine so we knew a couple of the same people. We didn’t really run out of things to talk about, but it also wasn’t an entirely engaging date. We had some chemistry, but not an entirely large amount of chemistry. We ended up stopping by his hippie friend’s house to buy some weed and then another friend’s of his house after the bar.
The whole night reminded me a lot of high school. I could tell that we were in similar social circles at our respective high schools in towns right next to each other. The artsy smart kids who go to basement shows on the weekends and did well in school but also did drugs occasionally.
That made it feel comfortable but also weird. It was nice to connect with someone who came from a similar place that I did. Since I moved far away from my hometown 6 years ago, so much of my life has been figuring out where I fit in with people from different backgrounds than me. It was cool to meet someone else in their mid-20s who came from where I came from. To see how they were doing, where they were in their life right now.
He’s someone I’m happy to have met. But he didn’t sweep me off my feet.