okay, im over the hump. these past couple days have been like speed dating or something. i don’t know what i was thinking. i just moved back here friday, and i went on a date yesterday and a date today. i totally need a break from this. i think i just needed to get the post-break up jitters out of my system or something.
i think im going to write a post for each date later. to digest. but right now it’s 12:40 am after date #2 and i feel like i need to get out some initial feelings about date #2…
okay. it was a lot of fun. we both did some nervous talking, which is neither fun to do nor fun to listen to, but possibly unavoidable on first dates. but there were also a couple zen moments. a couple moments that i felt really like myself–my thoughts came together like they do when im around my family and friends i’ve known forever. i spoke and felt 98% behind what i said.
we had a lot to talk about. that makes things so much easier. we were on the same wave-length in a lot of ways. we were looking for similar things from okcupid, we were both passionate about political and social justice communications, we were both light-hearted about the date.
and now i’m kind of assessing myself. it’s not self-judgement, it’s learning. i’m recalling the points in the conversation where I probably should have asked him a question instead of bringing up something else about myself. i’m thinking of ways i could have been an even better listener (although, i think im a pretty damn good listener as it is). fellow good listeners challenge you to be an even better listener.
bottom line is, i felt like we both regarded each other as equals. we both are much more interested in the world around us than we are in ourselves. i don’t think either of us were incredibly attracted to the other, but it didn’t matter. we each expressed ourselves successfully and we each received the expressions of one another successfully. and it was fun. isn’t that what human beings are supposed to do?
more to come on this. it’s been a special couple days. i feel alive.